So last night it was Beatles night - oh, sorry - Lennon/McCartney night.
To start, The Beatles songs are good, but they don't allow for great musical range, so it's no wonder that most performances weren't stellar.
Second, Simon Cowell thought it was a great idea to wear a shirt that was unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest - se-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-xy. All he needed was a couple of gold chains and hairy knuckles to complete the outfit.
Third, Paula Abdul keeps saying "nitch" rather than "niche" (pronounced neesh), and I want to smack the stupid off of her. And why does she clap with her hands wide open and her fingers separated? It must be all the drinking and drugs.
Fourth, Simon threatened Ryan Seacrest after he made fun of him by saying "Be careful." Ooh, sounds compelling. I bet you Simon's the top.
Fifth, not to be rude but Randy Jackson is seriously irrelevant.
And finally, is it just me or does everyone's head look gigantic next to Ryan Seacrest's?
Now, on to the performances:
Syesha Mercado and Chikezie Ezie were so unmemorable, I can't even recall if they were really there.
Ramiele Malubay performed "In My Life," a song I can't say I'm familiar with. I was so freakin' bored, I found myself counting my hair. She's a pretty girl but has zero charisma. She might be going home.
Jason Castro is really cute in an effeminate way, but I have to admit that last night, his performance of "If I Fell" made me a little tingly down there.
Carly Smithson, the Irishwoman who looks like Evanescence's Amy Lee, sang "Come Together" and man did she rock the joint, it was amazing.
David Cook sang "Eleanor Rigby" and although the lighting blinded me during his performance, the boy has got some serious stage presence and the tweens just love the dude.
Brooke White, the mediocre singer, picked "Let It Be" and played at a piano while singing and I have to admit, it was pretty good.
David Hernandez is getting gayer and gayer by the second. He sang "I Saw Her Standing There" and I wanted to vomit just listening to him. I still think he's hot though.
Amanda Overmyer sang "You Can't Do That" and although I could barely understand the lyrics, she definitely gave it a rock and roll edge. Problem is, she's starting to get monotonous. And that skunk hair is looking smelly.
Michael Johns sang "Across The Universe" and didn't impress me with his performance. Although I do like his face, body and stage presence, he can't really cut it with the big boys.
Kristy Lee Cook was told she sounded like "Dolly Parton on helium" after she gave "8 Days A Week" a country edge. Ugh, it sucked. But then, I really don't like country music. Nevertheless, ripped jeans, cowboy boots and a violin does not a country song make. She might be going home.
Ewok/elf David Archuleta was left for last and he sang "We Can Work It Out" and he managed to forget most of the lyrics at the beginning of the song. I guess we can't work it out. And the whole choreography he did coming down the stairs and moving his head from side to side was a bit freakish. But you can tell Ryan loves him, simply because he's the only male he has ever towered over.
So to sum it up, I predict that either Kristy Lee Cook, Ramiele Malubay, Chikezie Ezie, or Syesha Mercado is going home this evening. Stay tuned, I'll let you know the outcome.
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